This isn't directional.

It's the kind of loneliness that is as inscrutable as a vacuum: contrary to intuition, there's no end to the void. I keep throwing myself into things that make me feel temporally happy, and yet when I look inside myself I realize that the emptiness is still there. And it seems to get even larger with the passing of time.

I wish I could fully believe that this is hormonal. Sometimes I think it is, and other times I feel that it might not be as simple as that. I keep chasing things that I feel might be the solution to all of this, but when I get them I'm not entirely sure that I didn't waste my time.

In less ambiguous words, I'm sorry.

I'm not certain about of all this. And even though I've come to this realization through my unpredictable moods, doubt has already pervaded my entire system. I don't know if this is what I should be looking for. And to be perfectly honest, I don't know if I'm being realistic enough, because of this space inside me that just won't fill up. Am I looking for something possible, or am I simply blind to the fact that this isn't something another person can fix?

I feel like I've long been in my town of cats - lost in a world that I will never be able to leave.