I have been feeling exhausted for the past few days.

I honestly don't know how I came to have the flu. At first I thought it was all the work I was doing, but now I realize that I've been waking up with no energy and just feeling tired all the time. I've been having headaches and muscle pains, and I mistakenly attributed the headaches to my failure to constantly wear glasses and the muscles pains to my bad posture. Now I know; it's just the flu.

But perhaps I should not say just the flu. I feel miserable and it's so hard for me to get work done when I feel like I should be sleeping half the time. Now I can't even sleep because I finally got my high fever and it's making me so uncomfortable; and the fact that I feel utterly miserable because we're not talking.

I was mad this morning. I was angry and screaming in the privacy of my bedroom, and I will admit that I vented to many people (of course they were close and trusted friends though), but I was filled with so much rage that I needed to get some of it out so I didn't make a scene in public. I'm actually proud of myself for controlling my anger enough not to talk with you while I was angry, but that doesn't make me feel much better now. We're still not talking. I'm still miserable.

Now I'm just sad. The flu is making me feel like I'm going to die, and I have no energy left to work on my platform. I feel depressed that you don't care enough to allow me to rest when I'm sick. Maybe it would have been a different case if all you did was ignore me, but now, aside from ignoring me, you're just giving me work to do. I just want you to care and understand. I mean, I'm doing my best to understand your mood swings and the way you space off and not hear me some times, but I feel hurt now.

I really don't know if you care about me anymore. I wish this issue would just disappear into thin air but it seems like it won't. And worst of all, I can't get better because I can't sleep with this congested nose and this sadness and these chills from my insane body heat.

I love you, you know? And I actually just want to resolve our differences. I'm just too tired and too miserable and too uncertain about your feelings about me.